Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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