hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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