took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
