I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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