oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
