i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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