Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

(650): View more from California

i think otters can do that

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(408): i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both (650): i think otters can do that http://tfl.nu/vhzk

Replies (18) Good night (3442) Bad night (693)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?

(816): View more from Missouri

Most never. Some around 65.

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(314): So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title? (816): Most never. Some around 65. http://tfl.nu/dvz5

Replies (22) Good night (2387) Bad night (817)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i just identified you from a description of your pipe

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(248): i just identified you from a description of your pipe http://tfl.nu/awfe

Replies (13) Good night (5262) Bad night (839)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.

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(781): tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner. http://tfl.nu/1bdt

Replies (20) Good night (887) Bad night (6548)
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(571): View more from Virginia

All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet

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(571): All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet http://tfl.nu/3sbr

Replies (4) Good night (5019) Bad night (969)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.

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(828): Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me. http://tfl.nu/wdvy

Replies (15) Good night (8311) Bad night (1251)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.

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(843): So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay. http://tfl.nu/5u6r

Replies (10) Good night (4553) Bad night (940)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.

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(508): i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail. http://tfl.nu/yrer

Replies (5) Good night (2022) Bad night (759)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.

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(705): I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard. http://tfl.nu/825y

Replies (2) Good night (1201) Bad night (819)
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(619): View more from California

I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.

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(619): I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now. http://tfl.nu/s7lw

Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (778)
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(310): View more from California

I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"

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(310): I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine" http://tfl.nu/hod3

Replies (7) Good night (948) Bad night (546)
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(618): View more from Illinois

After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...

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(618): After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical... http://tfl.nu/b9b8

Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (400)
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(812): View more from Indiana

This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick

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(812): This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick http://tfl.nu/hypd

Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (602)
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(323): View more from California

I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?

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(323): I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today? http://tfl.nu/ws7y

Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (353)
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(256): View more from Alabama

If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.

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(256): If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch. http://tfl.nu/w52p

Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (245)

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