Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.

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  (573): Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it. http://tfl.nu/veic
  Replies (26) Good night (971) Bad night (545)
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  (742): View more from

  What happened last night?

  (1-742): View more from

  You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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  (742): What happened last night? (1-742): You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth. http://tfl.nu/koqa
  Replies (5) Good night (803) Bad night (4824)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination

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  (910): I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination http://tfl.nu/u6pu
  Replies (26) Good night (5138) Bad night (515)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.

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  (215): distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard. http://tfl.nu/840x
  Replies (36) Good night (4218) Bad night (1794)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.

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  (203): So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off. http://tfl.nu/cdqo
  Replies (10) Good night (5003) Bad night (772)
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  (714): View more from California

  He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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  (714): He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where. http://tfl.nu/my2r
  Replies (17) Good night (1385) Bad night (6744)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2532) Bad night (966)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

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  (781): Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger. http://tfl.nu/4opy
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (2254)
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  (914): View more from New York

  right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"

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  (914): right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit" http://tfl.nu/7x3l
  Replies (6) Good night (3167) Bad night (810)
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  (909): View more from California

  You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?

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  (909): You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail? http://tfl.nu/0cec
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (537)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid

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  (614): We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid http://tfl.nu/h9fh
  Replies (12) Good night (1625) Bad night (614)
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  (619): View more from California

  Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it

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  (619): Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it http://tfl.nu/a0r3
  Replies (1) Good night (996) Bad night (305)
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  (415): View more from California

  I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT

  (707): View more from California

  I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.

  (415): View more from California

  I effort

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  (415): I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT (707): I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT. (415): I effort http://tfl.nu/ft8e
  Replies (6) Good night (1423) Bad night (484)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success

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  (203): I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success http://tfl.nu/5jtv
  Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (300)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.

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  (412): Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon. http://tfl.nu/le72
  Replies (0) Good night (746) Bad night (195)

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