I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
