she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
