Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
