he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
