im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
