this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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