Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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