3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize