How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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