How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
