I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize