My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
