This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
