Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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