the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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