I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
