What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize