Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Can I color on your dick again?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
