Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
3 2 1 whiskey
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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