Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
