As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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