I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
