What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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