return my video game
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
