Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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