yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
