Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
