he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
only you would photoshop your dick
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
