I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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