): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
