After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
