Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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