It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
