Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
