there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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