But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
