The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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