i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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