i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he thought i was a dude.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
