if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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