i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
