my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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