im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
3 2 1 whiskey
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
