Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
