dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize