Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
