I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
