You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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