i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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