I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
