Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
