If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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