it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
