I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
