i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
