Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
