i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
