I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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