Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
