My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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